“This can wreak havoc in everyone’s life. Or maybe you’ve had joint custody, but now your 13-year-old says she’s fed up with switching houses every week. Can a 15 year old choose which parent to live with? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. They would be living with friends, grandparents, etc. *ONLY* the parent where the child lived more than half the year can claim a child under the age if 19 (or 24 is a full time student). In such situations, the attorneys and parents are excluded from the conversation. In some cases, the child’s mental heath is at-issue due to familial turmoil or stress related to the divorce. If you believe at the non-custodial parent it’s capable I’ve taken care of the teen then you can consider allowing the 15-year-old to live with their non-custodial parent. 15 year old children are still children and subject to the authority of their parents. Fifteen Year Old Wants to Live With Non-Custodial Parent My question involves juvenile law in the State of: California - My son is 15 years old and for the past 2 years he's told me that he wants to come live with me. Any separation or divorce involving children will result in a custody order and visitation schedule. Most likely, the court also considers any history of drug or alcohol abuse of a party or member of a party’s household, the mental and physical condition of a party or member of that party’s household and any other factors that are relevant to the situation. A child 12 or older has a right to confer with the court, but does not get to decide his best interests. I am however, a divorced mom, a high school teacher of at risk youth, and a family mediator. Badmouth the other parent. it really comes down to your specific situation and what you believe is best and most safe for the teen. In cases where the parents live far apart, equal time sharing may not be practical and a judge may award one parent far more time with the child – called “sole custody” or “majority time sharing.” A parent can lose time sharing rights if there’s evidence of domestic violence, child abuse or neglect. The primary custodial parent has an obligation to ensure that the child is available for visits with the noncustodial parent as set forth in the custody order. This type of behavior is often repeated and chances are it will repeat after the 15-year-old … No representation is made that the quality of the legal services to be performed is greater than the quality of legal services performed by other lawyers. Im living with my mom and she is very very controlling and won’t even talk to me about me wanting to live with my dad. Then your 15-year-old son rolls his eyes and says he’s not going. That means any kind of injuries or abuse you will legally be responsible for. There are specific situations in which under no circumstance should a 15-year-old be allowed to live with the non-custodial parent. Until now your kids have lived with you and seen your ex on alternate weekends. Home / Articles / Can a Child Choose to Live with the Non-Custodial Parent? There is no comprehensive list because every family is different but these are a few of the most common reasons. Your email address will not be published. If there is a custody order in place, that order would need to be modified. Technically, if the non-custodial parent has court ordered visitation, then the child and custodial parent have to comply with it. 'After a few hours of staying at mine, my son says he wants to go home and doesn’t want to stay overnight.' By my dad won’t let me because he says she’s too nice to me and threatens to lock me up if I do anything he doesn’t like. people under extreme stress tend to fall into depression and/or anxiety. That parent has limited rights and there is a reason they don’t have joint custody. The courts have appointed you to be responsible for the teen that includes decisions like where they live. If you’re having a hard time viewing your child's request objectively, talk with a friend or counselor about how you can separate your child’s request from your identity as a parent. Wheeler, 253 GA 649 (1984) found that a child aged 14 and older has the right to choose not to visit the non-custodial parent. However, silence on the issue may greatly prejudice the non-custodial parent, resulting in pressure being placed on the child to sue his former custodian. What rights does a 16 year old have? So ask yourself do you feel confident with your child’s safety and prosperity in the care of their non-custodial parent? However, please note that the court will want the child to have ongoing and consistent contact with each parent. In what situations should you let your 15-year-old move in with their other parent. Until now your kids have lived with you and seen your ex on alternate weekends. Non-custodial parents still remain obligated to pay a proportion of the costs involved in raising the child. Ascertaining the reason for the request is the first step for parents to consider when discussing a change of residence. Maybe getting the divorce done will help, maybe not. But I do not want to live with him I want to live with someone else so I can go to the same school what do I do and how do I do it. He is 13 years old and he is adament he does not want to return. Your email address will not be published. Older children may become withdrawn, show disinterest or just be blunt and say, 'I don’t want to go'. Also, the older the child, the more weight their preference is given. Daughter is 15. In “Ex Parte Rosser,” the custodial parent had the obligation to: Custodial Interference Can Backfire. There is no comprehensive list because every family is different but these are a few of the most common reasons. A 15 year old child is not given absolute authority to decide which parent he will reside with, but his wishes will be very heavily weighed. Kids may decide they want to leave, exhausted parents may agree. The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely upon advertisements. To arrange an initial consultation to discuss divorce rights for men with a Cordell & Cordell attorney, including Pennsylvania divorce lawyer Caroline Thompson, contact Cordell & Cordell. I love it! Fifteen-year-old Logan says to his mother, "Mom, I want to live at Dad's." Tags: modification,  Non-custodial parent, Hi I’m Sam I’m 15 and I want my dad to have cousidy of me so that I can get away from my mother. Please note that these rules change according to state. However, a child is not legally entitled to choose who to live with until the age of 16. Phyllis MacCutcheon licensed in CT and NM only. Maybe getting the divorce done will help, maybe not. When children normally want to change custody. Presence of any uncertainty, confusion, fear, or insincerity in the child’s expression of a custodial parent preference; Judges may prefer to discuss custodial parent preferences and custody arrangements with children in chambers in a more private setting. Can a parent keep a child away from the other parent following a divorce? There are specific situations in which under no circumstance should a 15-year-old be allowed to live with the non-custodial parent. When the child spends equal time with both parents, for example, one week with one parent, another week with the other, then the parents are said to have shared residence of the child. If 18 is the age of emaciation in your state as it sounds like it is then "custody" is moot and the tax provision that allows a "non-custodial parent to claim the exemption no longer exists. How old must a child be in order to choose which parent he or she wants to live with? Attorney services are provided by licensed attorneys in every state where Cordell & Cordell offices are located. Those who want to help should learn about the proper procedures to follow with your local family court to formally obtain child custody.The following information about child custody following the death of a parent can help you prepare. When a young child refuses visits with the noncustodial parent, the custodial parent is going to take a lot of the blame. By 15 yrs alot of kids are so consumed with hanging with their friends that their parents become like a background noise. It is your decision. Required fields are marked *. This is your choice as a parent; there’s no set age that determines when a child is allowed to say where he/she wants to live. As parents, we have that advantage. And can older children decide on their own whether or not they want to visit the non-custodial parent? *ONLY* the parent where the child lived more than half the year can claim a … Thank you for this question. Custodial parents face a difficult issue when a minor child refuses to visit with the other parent. However, the Court found that the desire of the child not to visit with the other parent remains subject to review by the Court and determination of what is in the child’s best interest must be made in any other modification or alteration of visitation rights. The other main reason is a teenager can make the life of parent a living hell by running away and being disobedient if they so choose. He wants to live with me. Daughter is 15. The most important thing to consider is are they capable financially, physically, and mentally to take care of this teen. If a 15 year old decides to move in with the non-custodial parent, can the custodial parent stop them? 7. This refusal may result from alienation, anger, and sometimes fear. Or maybe you’ve had joint custody, but now your 13-year-old says she’s fed up with switching houses every week. In a sole physical custody arrangement, the child lives with one parent full-time, even if the non-custodial parent has visitation rights or shares in the legal custody arrangement. Now it turns out your ex and his partner live closer to the high school your daughter will attend and she’s raised the idea of moving to their house. I am currently 17 years old, being five months away from turning 18 in West Virginia and wanting to live with my father who has a criminal record of abuse and alcohol abuse but is now recovered and sober; though my mother refuses to easily let this happen. I am however, a divorced mom, a high school teacher of at risk youth, and a family mediator. i am also wondering what ramifications there may be if i allow him to stay here, violating our … FREE BACKGROUND INFORMATION AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST. Check out this video below for more information. Threatening your teen with punishment or restricting his freedom will likely hurt more than it will help. And it is rare for a court to make a custody and access order about a child who is 16 years old or older. There is no way I can convince her to let me live with my dad. What we have to do is make sure our children learn that they are safe in … 17-Year-Old Will Not Return to Custodial Parent, Non-Custodial Parent Taken to Court My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Michigan. Your child's request to live with your ex doesn’t have to be seen as a negative evaluation of who you are as a person or a parent. Both types of parents have specific custody and visitation rights, but a child’s best interests—not parental rights—will guide Indiana judges making custody decisions. If a child in this situation doesn't particularly want to live with one of the parents, the child will become resentful and potentially act out. I’m sure you know, teens are not easy to take care of. He wants to live with me. 1995, orig. But you must have family law counsel and professionals on your team to save your son. The simple answer is yes it is an option. Wheeler, 253 GA 649 (1984) found that a child aged 14 and older has the right to choose not to visit the non-custodial parent. Office in Ridgeland, MS. Can a Child Choose to Live with the Non-Custodial Parent? There is a good chance that the bad qualities the non-custodial parent had in the past still exist, most people don’t change. There is no easy answer to this situation. If you’re a non-custodial parent, invite your children to just grab dinner or come over after school instead of making them feel obligated for a whole weekend or evening. His mom always tells him no. My 17-year-old son has run away from his custodial parent and has told his school counselor and others that he would rather kill himself than go back due to many ongoing issues which have become too much for him to deal with. State of Virginia; Two years ago my sister went to live with my dad. Asking the custodial parent to pay child support to the other parent if the child years later decides to move, may make agreement impossible. Chances are the non-custodial parent is not fit or does not want to be responsible for this 15-year-old. What is a parent to do when a child is refusing to participate in your custody agreement? The situation is increasingly problematic as the child approaches the age of majority (18 years old). Those my 17yr old attend a custody hearing in the state of texas. CORDELL & CORDELL, ST. LOUIS, MO. Family Lawyer: ... A 13 year old does not get to have the final say in where they live. § 61.125 (2020). She is also on the verge of just taking off and moving out but my cousin does not want to go with her. First, let me tell you, I am NOT a lawyer and I cannot give you legal advice. If a child decides to live with the non-custodial parent, is there anything the custodial parent can do to stop that child from doing so? If a non-custodial parent is of the opposite sex of the child, the court may expect the parent's home to offer the child as much privacy as possible. Please note that the child would have to speak with the court and let them know his or her preference. Generally, parenting time and visitation are interchangeable terms, used to refer to the time that the child spends with the parent who does not have sole legal custody. Whatever the reason, it can put you in a bad position. Giana Messore licensed in AR only – Little Rock, AR. Children express resistance to staying with their other parent in different ways. The short answer is no, a parent can never stop a child from visiting the other parent unless the child is in immediate danger, or the court issues a court order approving this modified custody arrangement to exclude custody or visitation by one parent. Dad and mom have never been to court; dad pays support with a check from his disability. Need son to live with father in order to get him into a … Can I get in trouble for accepting my son at my house. If there is no custody order in place, then the child can live with the non-custodial parent without having to involve the court. The 15-year-old does not get to go where he wants or live with his father if you have legal custody of him and you want to stop it. That does not seem to be a result to be promoted. His father is currently incarcerated and he wants his son to live with me, also his son wants to live with me. But you must have family law counsel and professionals on your team to save your son. Oftentimes, a custody determination and/or subsequent modification must be made based on the best interests of the child. Although I do believe you should take what the teen wants into consideration, at the end of the day it’s really not up to them. THIS IS AN ATTORNEY ADVERTISEMENT. Jerrad Ahrens licensed in NE and IA only. She comes from Texas, and is visiting Illinois, she flys, she refused to get on the plane to return home. Lisa Karges, Florida Resident Partner - Tampa, FL. If there is no custody order in place, then the child can live with the non-custodial parent without having to involve the court. Can I get in trouble for accepting my son at my house. When children normally want to change custody. on whatever whim they had at the moment. In some cases, the teen had a stronger bond with one parent and wants to live with them after a divorce. For many states, the court must consider these factors in a best interest analysis: Which party is more likely to encourage and permit frequent and continuing contact between the child and another party; The present and past abuse committed by a party, whether there is continued risk of harm to the child and which party can better provide adequate physical safeguards and supervision of the child; -The parental duties performed by each party on behalf of the child; -The need for stability and continuity in the child’s life; -The well-reasoned preference of the child, based on the child’s maturity and judgment; -The attempts of a parent to turn the child against the other parent, except in cases of domestic violence where reasonable safety measures are necessary to protect the child from harm; -Which party is more likely to maintain a loving, stable, consistent and nurturing relationship with the child adequate for the child’s emotional needs; -Which party is more likely to attend to the daily physical, emotional, developmental, educational and special needs of the child; -The proximity of the residences of the parties; -Each party’s availability to care for the child or ability to make appropriate childcare arrangements; -The level of conflict between the parties and the willingness and ability of the parties to cooperate with one another. This is a very critical time in their life in which a wrong move could ruin a good portion of their life. Avoiding Contempt When a Child Refuses to Visit with a Parent . Don’t act like the parenting schedule is carved in stone, if you want to see your child, be willing to be flexible and work with them as well as the other parent. This refusal may result from alienation, anger, and sometimes fear. The older the child the more weight the judge is likely to give to their wishes as they are theoretically of an age to better understand the consequences of their decision. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window). Middle of the Night Uncontrollable Tantrums 2-year-old, How to Get your Son to Break up with his Girlfriend, Daughter Chooses Boyfriend Over Her Family, My Boyfriend’s Grown Daughter is Manipulative. If they were responsible enough to care for the child the judge would have appointed joint custody rather than sole custody to one parent. So you’re 15-year-old wants to live with a non-custodial parent. Hello I’m 16 and I need to live with my father. Typically these type of issues surface when the child is in the tween years, that age between 9 and 12. If 18 is the age of emaciation in your state as it sounds like it is then "custody" is moot and the tax provision that allows a "non-custodial parent to claim the exemption no longer exists. However, the secondary residential parent or access parent often holds a dream that one day, their child will come to live with them as he or she has been living in their primary residence. who want to live with their non-custodial parent or with another family member Note: In this document, the parent or guardian with whom you currently live with most of the time is referred to as the “custodial parent” and the parent with whom you wish to move in with is referred to as the “non-custodial parent”. At other times, a child may feel bitter about the non-custodial parent's significant other. On a fairly regular basis I am asked by a divorced parent how old their child must be before they can choose which parent they want to live with. Just because his kids are with him for the weekend doesn’t mean the non-custodial parent will give them his undivided attention. My son wants to see his dad but there are times he doesn't want to go from Friday-Monday. There are very few situations out there and in which it would be okay to let the teen move but they do exist. In the vast majority of New Jersey child custody arrangements, one parent is deemed the custodial parent, while the other, referred to as the “non-custodial parent,” is awarded parenting time or visitation. Ex Parte Rosser, 899 S.W.2d 382 (Tex.App.-Houston [14th Dist.] Custodial parents face a difficult issue when a minor child refuses to visit with the other parent. It might cause him to equate time with one parent just as an alternative to punishment, which can negatively taint the way your son views time with that other parent. There are circumstances in which a non-custodial parent could be responsible for a teen but at the end of the day, it comes down to your judgment as the legal guardian to this teen. If there is a custody order in place, that order would need to be modified. Custodial Parent Responsibilities. If the non-custodial parent, it’s under extreme financial or work stress. No, the non custodial parent has to submit a modification of the custody agreement. My mom has guardianship of her and has had guardianship since she was 6 months old. In most cases allowing your 15-year-old to live with a non-custodial parent is not a good idea. This type of behavior is often repeated and chances are it will repeat after the 15-year-old moves in. The kid is old enough that the court will listen to the child's wishes and MOST likely side with the kid. Can a custodial parent allow a 16 year old to live with his no-custodial father [ 1 Answers ] Divorced for 9 years, great relationship with sons father. Typically, courts permit visitation/access rights to non-custodial parents. Thank you for this question. The parent who has the child live with them most of the time is called the resident parent and the other parent is called the non-resident parent. Encourage Communication: Children want to communicate, to be understood and to understand. I am a parent of a 15 1/2 year old daughter. Typically these type of issues surface when the child is in the tween years, that age between 9 and 12. If there was any kind of physical or sexual abuse to either the teen or the partner. Whether you child is a busy teen or an angry 8-year-old, the information below will possibly encourage closeness and a desire to spend time with the non-custodial parent. For example, a court may give significant weight to an emotionally mature teenager’s request to reside with one parent over the other, but little to no weight to a 9-year-old’s request to live with the parent who has video games. I’m just wondering if you have made any head way on your journey and may have some advice? Courts are careful not to put children in the middle of their parents’ custody battles. Hi John, a friend of mine is going through a similar situation he has changed his life from his old addict was and now how his 17 year old son wants to come live with him. Old enough and mature enough is generally considered to be around 10 or 12 years of age. It has been usual that the court will not typically speak with children much younger than eight years old to determine what they would prefer. Now it turns out your ex and his partner live closer to the high school your daughter will attend and she’s raised the idea of moving to their house. on whatever whim they had at the moment. Michelle Ferreri licensed in PA and NJ only - Philadelphia, PA. Dorothy Walsh Ripka licensed in OH, IL, MO, KY and TX only. Non-Custodial Parent Gives More Focused Attention. However, the Court found that the desire of the child not to visit with the other parent remains subject to review by the Court and determination of what is in the child’s best interest must be made in any other modification or alteration of visitation rights. My 17-year-old son has run away from his custodial parent and has told his school counselor and others that he would rather kill himself than go back due to many ongoing issues which have become too much for him to deal with. Brette's Answer: No court is going to force a 17 year old to go on visitation if he doesn't want to. If a teen were to fall into pitfalls like drugs or dropping out of school, it could take years to get their life back on course. This also depends on whether there is a custody order. Remember, I am unable to provide you with anything more than divorce tips for men, so please consult a domestic litigation attorney in your area to obtain specific advice as to the laws in your state and how they impact your potential case. This could mean ensuring that the child has her own bedroom, bathroom, or a private place to get dressed. The teen’s feelings have no legal grounding. Based on this standard a court begins with the opinion that the non primary parent (the parent with whom the child doesn’t live with primarily) should have at least a standard possession order awarded to them. I have known him for over 7 years This is a gray area in parental legality and I would recommend. As you can see, there are many factors that the court takes into consideration, including the child’s preference. In some states, custody may be modified at any time. The Legal Aspects. But as a child gets closer to the age of majority, which is 18 years old in Ontario, they have more say about where and with whom they live. If there was any kind of physical or sexual abuse to either the teen or the partner. There might even be some verbal/physical abuse. The situation is increasingly problematic as the child approaches the age of majority (18 years old). Oftentimes, a custody determination and/or subsequent modification must be made based on the best interests of the child. Can Alimony Be Modified If Based On Previous Income? “I have plans this weekend,” he says while putting on his headphones. If a 15 year old decides to move in with the non-custodial parent, can the custodial parent stop them? The bad news is the road ahead is not going to be easy the good news is at the end of the day it is up to you they may resent you for a while but the decision is up to the guardian of the teen. Child Custody. The older a … Joseph Cordell, Principal Partner, licensed in MO and IL only. 15 year old children are still children and subject to the authority of their parents. As a matter of fact I started a divorce three years ago. Parents can decide visitation on their own, or hire a mediator to help. Can a 15 year old petition the law to live with a non custodial parent [ 7 Answers ] The child is currently living with a family he has known for 2 months. as the non-custodial parent of a 15 year old who wants to live with me, i am wondering if i have to force him to go back to his dad's since he doesn't want to go. The court has designated your son's mother as the custodial parent, so she has the authority to decide where he will live until he is either 18 years old or the court determines otherwise. Of appeals came down on the verge of just taking off and moving out but my ’. 'S Answer: no court is going to force a fifteen-year-old boy to visit a parent if he not... 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